Letter I

Spring 2008 (Letter I)
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Dear Mr. Darwin,

It has only recently come to my attention that we are meant to be in correspondence. Begging your pardon for my delay. I now recall my commission and that it demanded the necessary and fundamental loss of my memory. Surely no pardon is necessary, yet you must have wondered what was taking me so long. Allow me to express my gratitude for being granted association with this endeavor, and for your patience with said condition.

I remember (occasionally) that I am to report at length from a profoundly limited and highly individual perspective on what the species human refers to as the “evolution of life from a common ancestor.” This report will add yet another chapter to an endeavor begun by Majesty’s servants beyond time and space and form. Or, eons ago in time’s framework. (It may also be true that this adventure was never begun at all, but I will leave exploration of this last phrase for a future report, mainly for when my memory has returned.)

Please extend my humble thanks to Majesty, who, residing in perfection, knows nothing of my plight, yet has been graceful enough to offer help through you and others. He relies on you, I know, to provide accurate report. Therefore, you have my authorization to revise in a manner appropriate for how report is finally to be made.

Firstly, I must say that to equate myself with you, even within this miniscule capacity, may appear an act of ego so supreme it will be laughable, except that if we are truly of common ancestry (and we are), there may be cause. Then, I can only hope that others will implore Majesty, through you, to make similar commission of them for the benefit of all. Finally and certainly, let it be known for the record, you, Mr. Darwin, and I possess distinct differences. I do not share your keen intellect, your courage, nor your focused mind in this strange world. Not to mention (but I will), I often forget to bring my notebook, and I cannot draw. Mostly, you are a far more disciplined soul than I. It is only through the grace of Majesty that we collaborate, yea, that we exist at all.

Without further delay, and as reported by you, I must confirm that, if not obviously, then as least inherently, there are as many worlds within Majesty’s realms as there are specimens populating them, and yet, all are contained within the common ancestor. There is little argument that my specimen and my world is rather an oddity. And surely, behind three-dimensional constructs of varying size and density, and referred to by humans as "doors" I am oft considered naïve, delusional or worse. This is to be expected in reviewing the details of this journey.

To willingly conform to be as Majesty is not, while still desiring what Majesty is, is a remarkable and treacherous experience. Happily, I remember enough to be able to write to you now, and so I take heart, fleeting as it may be, and commend each human specimen, and indeed specimens of all nature, for their bravery (and perhaps for their something else) in the endeavor.

As noted previously, I have undertaken a peculiar set of circumstances and life experiences, and I write to you from this perspective. I can speak truly for no other specimen, ever. Let there be no exception with this assertion. Yet, because of the conditions here (for lack of a more suitable reference point), it is assured that I am, and will remain, confounded for sometime, and may, in density and unwittingly--even as I attempt not--appear to draw conclusions that are not mine to draw. More directly, I will forget that I am only to report upon my own adventures and observations here with. Therefore, I beg Mr. Darwin’s unceasing pardon in advance whilst knowing that it is preposterous to even ask for it at all. I am assured You judge not my errors, an act of grace beyond comprehension, but nonetheless I fall to my knees for it. The more difficult pardon to obtain is from specimens not unlike myself, far and away a tougher audience.

Since this letter may be filed accordingly within Majesty’s library, associates who do not presently recall Majesty, Mr. Darwin or the specifics of this endeavor, please take note: My observations are offered from the perspective of a human female specimen living within one of infinite universes. I report from a sphere nesting in a galactic body known to humans as The Milky Way. My fellow specimens and I circle a nuclear powered magnet that emits a particular form of light. This glorious magnet is known to human earth dwellers as “the sun.” This sun permits the body in which I travel to exist. And where do I exist exactly? That is hard to say. What comes to mind now is to share that I report from within in a political unit (don’t ask) referred to as the United States of America, between Roman calendar dates January 1963 and December 2008, a 45-year span as measured in its matter/time/space continuum. (While I may remain longer in this experience, I hope to have compiled research enough to make several reports by the end of the current earth year.) As you so oft remind, even though this humble servant and her fellow specimens are far more than the aforementioned details, it seems relevant to include them here.

[Mr. Darwin has noted by now that I have not forgone the habit of verbosity since we last communed as One, and for which, even “there,” You know me so well. If you can, please find this quality, as Majesty always seems to do, endearing, bearing with my many notes and clarifications. If you finally can stand it no longer, the revising of this report remains faithfully entrusted to the ever wise and gentle care of you and your associates.]

Finally, it is almost unbearably uncomfortable to begin this report at all. The human experience is, for lack of a better term, thick. The challenge of recording my research is perhaps a bit like giving birth to a human baby: I came to earth pregnant with this mission, though I remember nothing of it. Once the process began it could not be stopped (except artificially). I confess for accurate report my frequent wanting, nay, screaming and writhing for a halt, especially in the darkness of earthly nights. Indeed, you might have had this report from me more than a decade ago (in earth years), had the thickness not oft got the better of me. Fortunately, I have made a few notations along the way.

Though now confessed, there is more to the story. I assert to the contrary (for I live presently in a world of contrary), every enchanting and honest story that I relate, no matter how its specifics appear, has shown me only Majesty’s unconditional love and grace, has offered only learning and remembrance, even if I seldom, shall we say, remembered or learned anything at the time of it. Most surely, I have had as many wondrous journeys within the journey as those that may be otherwise classified (and I do remember sometimes that it is only perspective that causes one to appear as the other). Finally, each moment has, either within it or upon reflection, shown me that it is indeed safe to travel this road.

Since having mentioned on the issue of the safety of the road, then, before signing off from this first report, I must confirm an observation that has been described previously by our other associates. (Gratitude is due those who have given accurate report.) Indeed, it is true that within the human experience, the construct called “death” is ubiquitous and striking. From initial observations there appear two primary perspectives. Within certain specimens (me), it is purported to offer relief from the challenges of the great forgetting that created earth to begin. And conversely, even as death may appear to offer relief for some, the construct is a matter of grave concern to others (me). If you will, for just a moment Mr. Darwin, stretch your already incomprehensible ability to comprehend. For these specimens the construct is thought to be “the end.” I know! I know! Ludicrous! But, it is what it is. It would be as if I would lie frozen underfoot, or float eternally and timelessly (even though the former two references are correct) among a blackened, icy, void of space solitary, inconsolable and hungry. My deepest apologies for directing you here, yet, this belief is perhaps the single most unnerving component of my existence as a human.

Even so, take heart. Our associates have done good work. For, it is also well known and willingly shared to those who would hear of it, that beyond all veiling constructs lay paradise, which is freedom, and no one surrenders their right to it, even if they think they do.

For my part, even though time after time after time the aforementioned safety of the road is called into question, remembrance of the assurance of safe passage creeps in.

A final thought. Perhaps a great value in research of this nature is to review as much what is not said as what is said.

I look forward to your reply, and I pray with sincerest desire to remain in service to you and Majesty (a.k.a. Common Ancestor), to heartily justify your investment, and to transcend further personal discomfort in making report (though it has been now many months since the first writing).

Yours faithfully and forever,

Laura Bedford

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P.S. I have another non-Darwinian blog:
http://laurabedford.blogspot.com/