For context, it is recommended to begin with the first blog posting (Letter I), though this is certainly not required.
December 2008
All rights reserved.
Dear Mr. Darwin,
It is with great and glorious excitement that I report my finding of a letter penned by you whilst you lived on this grave earth. The missive reports upon your imagining a mind craving to remember itself.
Your correspondence was located on the University of Cambridge Darwin Correspondence Project website, a veritable treasure trove of information, since it includes both your correspondence and some of those of your correspondents.
For our associates benefit, I must report that the project's URL follows at the end of this posting. Permission by the university has already been granted to reprint your letter here. Please note that the bolded text has been made so by me to call attention to the lines that most exquisitely convey my own exploration of the topic at hand.
Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy memory of your penmanship.
Letter 8837 — Darwin, C. R. to Doedes, N. D., 2 Apr 1873
Dear Sir
I am much obliged for the photograph of yourself and friend. I am sure that you will excuse my writing at length, when I tell you that I have long been much out of health, and am now staying away from my home for rest. It is impossible to answer your question briefly; and I am not sure that I could do so, even if I wrote at some length. But I may say that the impossibility of conceiving that this grand and wondrous universe, with our conscious selves, arose through chance, seems to me the chief argument for the existence of God; but whether this is an argument of real value, I have never been able to decide. I am aware that if we admit a first cause, the mind still craves to know whence it came and how it arose. Nor can I overlook the difficulty from the immense amount of suffering through the world. I am, also, induced to defer to a certain extent to the judgment of the many able men who have fully believed in God; but here again I see how poor an argument this is. The safest conclusion seems to be that the whole subject is beyond the scope of man's intellect; but man can do his duty.
With my best wishes for your success in life, I remain, dear Sir,
| Yours faithfully | Ch. Darwin.
Source of the above letter: The Darwin Correspondence Project, University of Cambridge
Signing off for now to celebrate this glorious occasion!
Yours faithfully and forever,
Laura Bedford
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Letter II
December 2008 (Letter II)
All rights reserved.
Dearest Mr. Darwin,
At this moment I can only imagine your very esteemed expression upon further reading.
Position yourself with a warm cup of tea, and prepare for the frequency with which I will elaborate vis-à-vis the predicament forgetting provides. My hope is that through this report you will sense profoundly my circumstance, and if making task of you is allowed, that by it’s end (or right now), you will tender reinforcement. To gain your consideration in this matter, if it is not mine already, pause and recall our shared studies, the strange fettered material that included our learning of Majesty’s realms, specifically those that appear to have formed without significant collective memory. You and others have traveled among these worlds and may not require drawn out explanation (indeed, you, or they, may have already set aside this written account to mount requested support). Yet, lest other associates express incredulity at the outlay of resources, perhaps you could set to plea on my behalf. For there is cause and gravity contained within this, the earthly journey. And gravity perhaps is cause enough. Now, I shall get on with my report.
This morning I found my body before rising tossing and turning, wondering why I continue to delay report, or, upon writing it is not sent. The answer came. Absurd as it might seem where you reside, my entire ability to remember that I was even commissioned to write to you at all arrived because of innocence. Long ago and on account of exemplary teaching stuffs that offer that each and every is truly and eternally without guilt, I learned of human innocence, and, indeed, the innocence of all. Yet it has been a hard one to integrate. Upon the hearing of it, immediately I knew it was true. Yet, to make it one’s own, even for I who have seen only myself, and perhaps one other, guilty to any great degree, find reporting on the subject, let alone acting out it’s truth, tricky. To make report that proposes the villains of earth may not be villains to Majesty congeals my will. (Note: the name villain will cause to mind a large array of ideas, specimens and things by those who would report upon said guilt). I fear laughter and hate will be thrust upon any who do so.
Majesty’s servant David conveyed so long ago, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” A clear statement if I do say so myself. The one known as Jesus implored exquisitely and often, “You are the thing you seek,” and he surrender his body to guilt’s unreality. Examples of sinlessness are in all times and places, and, in faiths of all manner, the same and ubiquitous. The bigger challenge I am learning is not that specimens find each other guilty. Though it may not be admitted, perhaps we fault Majesty for our predicament. Yet, it seems to me Majesty knows nothing of this self-made plight, our separate thought, our madness at ourselves for having feigned to leave our now forgotten residence in Majesty. (For we could have never really left.) Is the surrender of guilt for our initial departure the prodigal son returning?
How unlike Majesty we seem. Yet, we are not guilty even of thinking or being unlike Majesty. I think only we think we are.
The sacred in paradox. I am thankful, Mr. Darwin, that you reside beyond it.
I will sign off for now. For accounting to you now has made me hungry.
Thank you for all, and patience. Your lovely reinforcement has been gratefully received.
Yours faithfully and forever,
Laura Bedford
All rights reserved.
Dearest Mr. Darwin,
At this moment I can only imagine your very esteemed expression upon further reading.
Position yourself with a warm cup of tea, and prepare for the frequency with which I will elaborate vis-à-vis the predicament forgetting provides. My hope is that through this report you will sense profoundly my circumstance, and if making task of you is allowed, that by it’s end (or right now), you will tender reinforcement. To gain your consideration in this matter, if it is not mine already, pause and recall our shared studies, the strange fettered material that included our learning of Majesty’s realms, specifically those that appear to have formed without significant collective memory. You and others have traveled among these worlds and may not require drawn out explanation (indeed, you, or they, may have already set aside this written account to mount requested support). Yet, lest other associates express incredulity at the outlay of resources, perhaps you could set to plea on my behalf. For there is cause and gravity contained within this, the earthly journey. And gravity perhaps is cause enough. Now, I shall get on with my report.
This morning I found my body before rising tossing and turning, wondering why I continue to delay report, or, upon writing it is not sent. The answer came. Absurd as it might seem where you reside, my entire ability to remember that I was even commissioned to write to you at all arrived because of innocence. Long ago and on account of exemplary teaching stuffs that offer that each and every is truly and eternally without guilt, I learned of human innocence, and, indeed, the innocence of all. Yet it has been a hard one to integrate. Upon the hearing of it, immediately I knew it was true. Yet, to make it one’s own, even for I who have seen only myself, and perhaps one other, guilty to any great degree, find reporting on the subject, let alone acting out it’s truth, tricky. To make report that proposes the villains of earth may not be villains to Majesty congeals my will. (Note: the name villain will cause to mind a large array of ideas, specimens and things by those who would report upon said guilt). I fear laughter and hate will be thrust upon any who do so.
Majesty’s servant David conveyed so long ago, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” A clear statement if I do say so myself. The one known as Jesus implored exquisitely and often, “You are the thing you seek,” and he surrender his body to guilt’s unreality. Examples of sinlessness are in all times and places, and, in faiths of all manner, the same and ubiquitous. The bigger challenge I am learning is not that specimens find each other guilty. Though it may not be admitted, perhaps we fault Majesty for our predicament. Yet, it seems to me Majesty knows nothing of this self-made plight, our separate thought, our madness at ourselves for having feigned to leave our now forgotten residence in Majesty. (For we could have never really left.) Is the surrender of guilt for our initial departure the prodigal son returning?
How unlike Majesty we seem. Yet, we are not guilty even of thinking or being unlike Majesty. I think only we think we are.
The sacred in paradox. I am thankful, Mr. Darwin, that you reside beyond it.
I will sign off for now. For accounting to you now has made me hungry.
Thank you for all, and patience. Your lovely reinforcement has been gratefully received.
Yours faithfully and forever,
Laura Bedford
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Letter I
Spring 2008 (Letter I)
All rights reserved.
Dear Mr. Darwin,
It has only recently come to my attention that we are meant to be in correspondence. Begging your pardon for my delay. I now recall my commission and that it demanded the necessary and fundamental loss of my memory. Surely no pardon is necessary, yet you must have wondered what was taking me so long. Allow me to express my gratitude for being granted association with this endeavor, and for your patience with said condition.
I remember (occasionally) that I am to report at length from a profoundly limited and highly individual perspective on what the species human refers to as the “evolution of life from a common ancestor.” This report will add yet another chapter to an endeavor begun by Majesty’s servants beyond time and space and form. Or, eons ago in time’s framework. (It may also be true that this adventure was never begun at all, but I will leave exploration of this last phrase for a future report, mainly for when my memory has returned.)
Please extend my humble thanks to Majesty, who, residing in perfection, knows nothing of my plight, yet has been graceful enough to offer help through you and others. He relies on you, I know, to provide accurate report. Therefore, you have my authorization to revise in a manner appropriate for how report is finally to be made.
Firstly, I must say that to equate myself with you, even within this miniscule capacity, may appear an act of ego so supreme it will be laughable, except that if we are truly of common ancestry (and we are), there may be cause. Then, I can only hope that others will implore Majesty, through you, to make similar commission of them for the benefit of all. Finally and certainly, let it be known for the record, you, Mr. Darwin, and I possess distinct differences. I do not share your keen intellect, your courage, nor your focused mind in this strange world. Not to mention (but I will), I often forget to bring my notebook, and I cannot draw. Mostly, you are a far more disciplined soul than I. It is only through the grace of Majesty that we collaborate, yea, that we exist at all.
Without further delay, and as reported by you, I must confirm that, if not obviously, then as least inherently, there are as many worlds within Majesty’s realms as there are specimens populating them, and yet, all are contained within the common ancestor. There is little argument that my specimen and my world is rather an oddity. And surely, behind three-dimensional constructs of varying size and density, and referred to by humans as "doors" I am oft considered naïve, delusional or worse. This is to be expected in reviewing the details of this journey.
To willingly conform to be as Majesty is not, while still desiring what Majesty is, is a remarkable and treacherous experience. Happily, I remember enough to be able to write to you now, and so I take heart, fleeting as it may be, and commend each human specimen, and indeed specimens of all nature, for their bravery (and perhaps for their something else) in the endeavor.
As noted previously, I have undertaken a peculiar set of circumstances and life experiences, and I write to you from this perspective. I can speak truly for no other specimen, ever. Let there be no exception with this assertion. Yet, because of the conditions here (for lack of a more suitable reference point), it is assured that I am, and will remain, confounded for sometime, and may, in density and unwittingly--even as I attempt not--appear to draw conclusions that are not mine to draw. More directly, I will forget that I am only to report upon my own adventures and observations here with. Therefore, I beg Mr. Darwin’s unceasing pardon in advance whilst knowing that it is preposterous to even ask for it at all. I am assured You judge not my errors, an act of grace beyond comprehension, but nonetheless I fall to my knees for it. The more difficult pardon to obtain is from specimens not unlike myself, far and away a tougher audience.
Since this letter may be filed accordingly within Majesty’s library, associates who do not presently recall Majesty, Mr. Darwin or the specifics of this endeavor, please take note: My observations are offered from the perspective of a human female specimen living within one of infinite universes. I report from a sphere nesting in a galactic body known to humans as The Milky Way. My fellow specimens and I circle a nuclear powered magnet that emits a particular form of light. This glorious magnet is known to human earth dwellers as “the sun.” This sun permits the body in which I travel to exist. And where do I exist exactly? That is hard to say. What comes to mind now is to share that I report from within in a political unit (don’t ask) referred to as the United States of America, between Roman calendar dates January 1963 and December 2008, a 45-year span as measured in its matter/time/space continuum. (While I may remain longer in this experience, I hope to have compiled research enough to make several reports by the end of the current earth year.) As you so oft remind, even though this humble servant and her fellow specimens are far more than the aforementioned details, it seems relevant to include them here.
[Mr. Darwin has noted by now that I have not forgone the habit of verbosity since we last communed as One, and for which, even “there,” You know me so well. If you can, please find this quality, as Majesty always seems to do, endearing, bearing with my many notes and clarifications. If you finally can stand it no longer, the revising of this report remains faithfully entrusted to the ever wise and gentle care of you and your associates.]
Finally, it is almost unbearably uncomfortable to begin this report at all. The human experience is, for lack of a better term, thick. The challenge of recording my research is perhaps a bit like giving birth to a human baby: I came to earth pregnant with this mission, though I remember nothing of it. Once the process began it could not be stopped (except artificially). I confess for accurate report my frequent wanting, nay, screaming and writhing for a halt, especially in the darkness of earthly nights. Indeed, you might have had this report from me more than a decade ago (in earth years), had the thickness not oft got the better of me. Fortunately, I have made a few notations along the way.
Though now confessed, there is more to the story. I assert to the contrary (for I live presently in a world of contrary), every enchanting and honest story that I relate, no matter how its specifics appear, has shown me only Majesty’s unconditional love and grace, has offered only learning and remembrance, even if I seldom, shall we say, remembered or learned anything at the time of it. Most surely, I have had as many wondrous journeys within the journey as those that may be otherwise classified (and I do remember sometimes that it is only perspective that causes one to appear as the other). Finally, each moment has, either within it or upon reflection, shown me that it is indeed safe to travel this road.
Since having mentioned on the issue of the safety of the road, then, before signing off from this first report, I must confirm an observation that has been described previously by our other associates. (Gratitude is due those who have given accurate report.) Indeed, it is true that within the human experience, the construct called “death” is ubiquitous and striking. From initial observations there appear two primary perspectives. Within certain specimens (me), it is purported to offer relief from the challenges of the great forgetting that created earth to begin. And conversely, even as death may appear to offer relief for some, the construct is a matter of grave concern to others (me). If you will, for just a moment Mr. Darwin, stretch your already incomprehensible ability to comprehend. For these specimens the construct is thought to be “the end.” I know! I know! Ludicrous! But, it is what it is. It would be as if I would lie frozen underfoot, or float eternally and timelessly (even though the former two references are correct) among a blackened, icy, void of space solitary, inconsolable and hungry. My deepest apologies for directing you here, yet, this belief is perhaps the single most unnerving component of my existence as a human.
Even so, take heart. Our associates have done good work. For, it is also well known and willingly shared to those who would hear of it, that beyond all veiling constructs lay paradise, which is freedom, and no one surrenders their right to it, even if they think they do.
For my part, even though time after time after time the aforementioned safety of the road is called into question, remembrance of the assurance of safe passage creeps in.
A final thought. Perhaps a great value in research of this nature is to review as much what is not said as what is said.
I look forward to your reply, and I pray with sincerest desire to remain in service to you and Majesty (a.k.a. Common Ancestor), to heartily justify your investment, and to transcend further personal discomfort in making report (though it has been now many months since the first writing).
Yours faithfully and forever,
Laura Bedford
***********************************************
P.S. I have another non-Darwinian blog:
http://laurabedford.blogspot.com/
All rights reserved.
Dear Mr. Darwin,
It has only recently come to my attention that we are meant to be in correspondence. Begging your pardon for my delay. I now recall my commission and that it demanded the necessary and fundamental loss of my memory. Surely no pardon is necessary, yet you must have wondered what was taking me so long. Allow me to express my gratitude for being granted association with this endeavor, and for your patience with said condition.
I remember (occasionally) that I am to report at length from a profoundly limited and highly individual perspective on what the species human refers to as the “evolution of life from a common ancestor.” This report will add yet another chapter to an endeavor begun by Majesty’s servants beyond time and space and form. Or, eons ago in time’s framework. (It may also be true that this adventure was never begun at all, but I will leave exploration of this last phrase for a future report, mainly for when my memory has returned.)
Please extend my humble thanks to Majesty, who, residing in perfection, knows nothing of my plight, yet has been graceful enough to offer help through you and others. He relies on you, I know, to provide accurate report. Therefore, you have my authorization to revise in a manner appropriate for how report is finally to be made.
Firstly, I must say that to equate myself with you, even within this miniscule capacity, may appear an act of ego so supreme it will be laughable, except that if we are truly of common ancestry (and we are), there may be cause. Then, I can only hope that others will implore Majesty, through you, to make similar commission of them for the benefit of all. Finally and certainly, let it be known for the record, you, Mr. Darwin, and I possess distinct differences. I do not share your keen intellect, your courage, nor your focused mind in this strange world. Not to mention (but I will), I often forget to bring my notebook, and I cannot draw. Mostly, you are a far more disciplined soul than I. It is only through the grace of Majesty that we collaborate, yea, that we exist at all.
Without further delay, and as reported by you, I must confirm that, if not obviously, then as least inherently, there are as many worlds within Majesty’s realms as there are specimens populating them, and yet, all are contained within the common ancestor. There is little argument that my specimen and my world is rather an oddity. And surely, behind three-dimensional constructs of varying size and density, and referred to by humans as "doors" I am oft considered naïve, delusional or worse. This is to be expected in reviewing the details of this journey.
To willingly conform to be as Majesty is not, while still desiring what Majesty is, is a remarkable and treacherous experience. Happily, I remember enough to be able to write to you now, and so I take heart, fleeting as it may be, and commend each human specimen, and indeed specimens of all nature, for their bravery (and perhaps for their something else) in the endeavor.
As noted previously, I have undertaken a peculiar set of circumstances and life experiences, and I write to you from this perspective. I can speak truly for no other specimen, ever. Let there be no exception with this assertion. Yet, because of the conditions here (for lack of a more suitable reference point), it is assured that I am, and will remain, confounded for sometime, and may, in density and unwittingly--even as I attempt not--appear to draw conclusions that are not mine to draw. More directly, I will forget that I am only to report upon my own adventures and observations here with. Therefore, I beg Mr. Darwin’s unceasing pardon in advance whilst knowing that it is preposterous to even ask for it at all. I am assured You judge not my errors, an act of grace beyond comprehension, but nonetheless I fall to my knees for it. The more difficult pardon to obtain is from specimens not unlike myself, far and away a tougher audience.
Since this letter may be filed accordingly within Majesty’s library, associates who do not presently recall Majesty, Mr. Darwin or the specifics of this endeavor, please take note: My observations are offered from the perspective of a human female specimen living within one of infinite universes. I report from a sphere nesting in a galactic body known to humans as The Milky Way. My fellow specimens and I circle a nuclear powered magnet that emits a particular form of light. This glorious magnet is known to human earth dwellers as “the sun.” This sun permits the body in which I travel to exist. And where do I exist exactly? That is hard to say. What comes to mind now is to share that I report from within in a political unit (don’t ask) referred to as the United States of America, between Roman calendar dates January 1963 and December 2008, a 45-year span as measured in its matter/time/space continuum. (While I may remain longer in this experience, I hope to have compiled research enough to make several reports by the end of the current earth year.) As you so oft remind, even though this humble servant and her fellow specimens are far more than the aforementioned details, it seems relevant to include them here.
[Mr. Darwin has noted by now that I have not forgone the habit of verbosity since we last communed as One, and for which, even “there,” You know me so well. If you can, please find this quality, as Majesty always seems to do, endearing, bearing with my many notes and clarifications. If you finally can stand it no longer, the revising of this report remains faithfully entrusted to the ever wise and gentle care of you and your associates.]
Finally, it is almost unbearably uncomfortable to begin this report at all. The human experience is, for lack of a better term, thick. The challenge of recording my research is perhaps a bit like giving birth to a human baby: I came to earth pregnant with this mission, though I remember nothing of it. Once the process began it could not be stopped (except artificially). I confess for accurate report my frequent wanting, nay, screaming and writhing for a halt, especially in the darkness of earthly nights. Indeed, you might have had this report from me more than a decade ago (in earth years), had the thickness not oft got the better of me. Fortunately, I have made a few notations along the way.
Though now confessed, there is more to the story. I assert to the contrary (for I live presently in a world of contrary), every enchanting and honest story that I relate, no matter how its specifics appear, has shown me only Majesty’s unconditional love and grace, has offered only learning and remembrance, even if I seldom, shall we say, remembered or learned anything at the time of it. Most surely, I have had as many wondrous journeys within the journey as those that may be otherwise classified (and I do remember sometimes that it is only perspective that causes one to appear as the other). Finally, each moment has, either within it or upon reflection, shown me that it is indeed safe to travel this road.
Since having mentioned on the issue of the safety of the road, then, before signing off from this first report, I must confirm an observation that has been described previously by our other associates. (Gratitude is due those who have given accurate report.) Indeed, it is true that within the human experience, the construct called “death” is ubiquitous and striking. From initial observations there appear two primary perspectives. Within certain specimens (me), it is purported to offer relief from the challenges of the great forgetting that created earth to begin. And conversely, even as death may appear to offer relief for some, the construct is a matter of grave concern to others (me). If you will, for just a moment Mr. Darwin, stretch your already incomprehensible ability to comprehend. For these specimens the construct is thought to be “the end.” I know! I know! Ludicrous! But, it is what it is. It would be as if I would lie frozen underfoot, or float eternally and timelessly (even though the former two references are correct) among a blackened, icy, void of space solitary, inconsolable and hungry. My deepest apologies for directing you here, yet, this belief is perhaps the single most unnerving component of my existence as a human.
Even so, take heart. Our associates have done good work. For, it is also well known and willingly shared to those who would hear of it, that beyond all veiling constructs lay paradise, which is freedom, and no one surrenders their right to it, even if they think they do.
For my part, even though time after time after time the aforementioned safety of the road is called into question, remembrance of the assurance of safe passage creeps in.
A final thought. Perhaps a great value in research of this nature is to review as much what is not said as what is said.
I look forward to your reply, and I pray with sincerest desire to remain in service to you and Majesty (a.k.a. Common Ancestor), to heartily justify your investment, and to transcend further personal discomfort in making report (though it has been now many months since the first writing).
Yours faithfully and forever,
Laura Bedford
***********************************************
P.S. I have another non-Darwinian blog:
http://laurabedford.blogspot.com/
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